Posts Tagged ‘Women’

Women Too Have the Right to Have Sexual Fantasies

Men easily reveal their sexuality and sexual desires and this is accepted by society. When a man is with a woman who attracts him, his body language tells her of the sexual attraction he feels and neither finds anything offensive in this. In fact, women have been indoctrinated over the centuries to be flattered by such signals from men.

But society does not tolerate women being as open and frank about their sexuality. This is not surprising since women have always been treated as an inferior species. So, almost since the beginning of civilisation, men have been free to flow with the tide as far as their sexual feelings are concerned, while a woman who did the same thing was branded as a brazen slut and reviled.

But things have changed now and women are breaking free of the cages they have lived in all these millennia. They now feel free to have their own sexual fantasies and to use their wiles openly to bring men to their knees. Now, it is not only men who seek to satisfy an unrelenting sex drive. Women do so too!

In her fantasies, a woman concentrates on her erogenous zones and then sex with her becomes a wild and unforgettable experience for her man. Sex, for a woman, is as much in the brain as it is in the body and, if a man does not understand this, the woman becomes cold and unresponsive. When a woman initiates sex, she performs the act of intercourse as she wants it, and this is often a real eye-opener for a man, who may understand for the first time what real coupling is.

Sex can be really great for a man only when his woman is as keen to have sex as he is. When she is passive and “allows” sex, it is just a way for a man to get a physical release, but when she actively participates and gets as much pleasure as she gives, it is an unforgettable experience.

So a man should be sensitive to his woman’s erotic fantasies. Since women like “thinking sex”, they like to read about sex and are fond of erotic stories, romantic novels, etc. One advantage of this is that such reading helps them get over their inhibitions and they become emboldened to express and then act out what they have read about and then imagined.

Surprisingly, they often want their men to do a complete about-turn in the way they treat them. Perhaps this is because they have not been able to explore their sexuality till recently. They no longer like or are willing to put up with being controlled. Their attitude to men is often insulting and men now find them enigmatic.

Rachel Duff is a woman of substance. She is very clear about what she wants in a man. She is 5′6″ tall and her man has to be taller than she is. Her present boyfriend is an inch taller than she is and that is fine by her.

Rachel loves her boyfriend very much but she refuses to be subservient or to allow him to dominate her in bed. Her man must make her feel like a woman. He must never abuse her or take her for granted. He must instead make her feel like a princess. He must never treat her as if she were his mother.

When it comes to sex, size does not matter for her, but he must get turned on and be able to satisfy her. She is quite stubborn about the fact that he must take control in bed. But this control must be as she wants it to be. For instance, she refuses to undress him, but he must undress her. The funda of all this is that he must treat her like a prize. And he has to unwrap his prize in a manner that stokes her desires and alerts all her senses.

Rachel wants her man to be gratified by making her sexual fantasies come to life. He must adore her breasts, lips and skin and be totally sexy as well. He must caress and massage her.

Her breasts are Rachel’s most erogenous zone and so she demands that her man be a “breast man” who finds a woman’s breasts very exciting. When they make love, she wants him to pay attention to her boobs, to touch and stroke and squeeze them.

Rachel believes that marriage is a pious bond. She wants the man she marries to be very sweet and to romance her whenever they go out.

Today’s women are out to enjoy themselves and are confident that they have both the right and ability to insist on their men pleasing them. They are free birds and now want to make their sexual dreams come true.

Some women fantasise on having sex under the stars because they like the calmness and silence of Nature. Others like to perform erotic dances to turn their men on. They know that the hot sex that will follow will reward them! Men will also be surprised by the answers they get if they ask their women if they like being pushed around.

Maully Jefferson describes herself as an exceedingly sexual person. She says that she finds out who she really is while she is having sex with her man. She wants her man to be manly, but also wants him to be romantic enough to take her in his arms – but in a manly manner. She enjoys watching blue movies with her man so that they both get turned on and have orgasms “internally”. Sometimes, these movies turn her on so much that she is aggressive and rough when she later makes love with her man. Maully also enjoys reading books on sex.

Such desires on the part of women, such attempts to satisfy their sexual needs, have a strong psychological component. Today, there is no shortage of women who are living their sexual fantasies in order to have satisfying sex.

HAVE A PERFECT TIME

For Shar Jeffery, sex is having a perfect time with her man. She wants to see hot desire for her on his face and wants to do all sorts of unthinkable things with him. He has to arouse each of her five senses. She moves around in bed expecting him to respond by moving to the erogenous areas she is directing him to. She expects him to bring her to an orgasm.

Women should be open about their fantasies. Only then can they hope to be fully satisfied. They should remember that they can dominate sex and thus achieve greater satisfaction.

This is the first of many episodes that are dedicated to sexual fantasies! In this weeks episode I share my dirtiest fantasy and briefly discuss why taboo thoughts are so provocative. Kinky? Curious? Email me: fetishcoach@gmail.com
Video Rating: 5 / 5

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The Erotic Challenge for Baby Boomer Women

Female baby boomers are well into menopause – and beyond; part of a giant wave of grey (even though the grey has been tinted somewhat).

You would think this generation of women, teenagers of the 1960s en route to their 60s, the so-called “liberation” generation, daughters of Woodstock, drivers of modern feminism, would have an original attitude to sexuality as they engage the challenges of aging today. In truth, in general, they don’t!

There are more woman over the age of 50 in the world today than probably ever before in world history; 45 million US women born in the baby boom years alone are now doing the critical menopause passage, and 11 million UK women. Globally, age distribution in the older category is increasing in all the more developed countries.

Although this enormous wave of women are more self assured and economically empowered than any generation before and can look forward to a reasonable lifespan and quality of life , nevertheless there is also a faltering and a wilting.

The same generation who “benefited” from the extreme youth focus of the sixties simply don’t know for sure how to age these days. The matter of aging female sexuality is fraught with old psychic shadows and it is haunting baby boomer women today. The old stereotypes won’t do; and new prototypes aren’t there yet.

“Our sexual appetites aren’t lost as we age, it is the image of ourselves as sexual that we dutifully abandon to fit the bygone stereotype of patriarchy that regimented women’s sex to accommodate the economic power structure … and keep men’s shoulder to the wheel of commerce and women’s prodigious sexual power confined to childbearing”, says Nancy Friday, author of the seminal book My mother, my self..

We are terrified of becoming ugly old hags. The word hagia, which means “holy” in Greek, was once a reverential title for wise and respected older women; it degraded to “hag”. How did the revered and sacred come to mean old and ugly?

Historical images that have stereotyped post-menopausal women are awful and insidious. They infect our culture – and deeply affect our own self-evaluations.

In 16th and 17th century Europe, post-menopausal women were witches, defined as satanic and diabolically sexual. In the 18th and 19th centuries, they were either pitiful old maids or idealised ageing grandmothers – righteous, virtuous – and totally asexual. (Sexuality was contained within marriage and linked only to procreation.)

In the first half of the 20th century, post-menopause was considered a dangerous age filled with melancholia, “climacteric insanity”, and “remnants of infantility”. Sexuality after menopause was considered pathological by medical definition, and neurotic by Freudian definition. Except for being a doting grandmother, life as she knew it pretty much ended.

This is the miserable menopausal milieu into which baby boomers were born. Then the doctors took over and menopause, and life thereafter, was totally medicalized. Menopausal and post-menopausal women formed a perfect client group for the growing medical profession – large numbers, ample finances, and vague symptoms. Sex was at least now considered “normal” if there was an interest, but there was no deeper evaluation of what this could mean.

So its not for nothing that baby boomer women are a little confused – in terms of both aging and sexuality. What happens to baby boomer women as they meet their 50s onwards?

Somewhere along the menopause continuum, there is an acquiescence or reconciliation to whatever has been achieved or transpired to date. Emotionally there is an acceptance of sorts and a sense of being more authentically oneself, as best as is possible this time round; however contented or discontented people are with their lives at this over-the-mid-point point. The issue around sexuality is entrapped in individual life narratives and old opinions. There is more concern about financial security.

A lot revolves around people’s physical well being, health and fitness. Of course by the time menopause has struck, people are living the consequences of a lifetime of stress, wrong food, hard living, plus the deep cultural expectations around getting older which have impacted their bodies. Partners may have died, become ill or lost interest.

Only now are there books around talking about the soul (as well as the medical science) of menopause, where thoughts, intentions and our spirituality determine a different bodily response. There is also the rapidly evolving nutritional science of anti aging and wellness which create more options. Where everything disintegrates into illness and frailty, sexuality dissipates with the life force itself. A good dose of luck and good attitude also makes a difference.

Discussions with baby boomer women reflect a remarkable stonewalling of sorts, as people defend the position they are currently carved into. “When people reach our age, what is there to learn?” There are those bold and passionate Lolitas in their 50s who love sex, love and seduction and are now coming face to face with the old double standard of older women with younger men.

Some baby boomer women don’t expect to be seen as sexy but are proud to be living from an authentic centre, with or without sex. Some, who are celibate, see sexuality as spiritual but sublimated into and expressed through art, home, loving family, pets. Or they get into religion and/or spirituality or good causes.

All will agree that you can enjoy a “roll in the hay” when you are over 60, but its all about sexual intercourse with a partner. There is a fundamental confusion between being sexually active and an erotic, spiritual sexual awareness.

For many its not about age but about situation; having a partner is the key. It is considered something normal, fun and if you are dating the right person, are married (and he can still do it) or in a committed relationship. Others speak about sex with a consenting friend, who for whatever reason you would not want a “relationship” with but agree to safe sex occasionally.

Others simply give up. Mary, a divorcee in her mid 50s, had spent a few unsatisfactory promiscuous years as she went through a difficult divorce. When she became a grandmother, she literally closed down and focused fully on her new role..

The media support the idea that grannies are asexual. Whenever we are presented with an older couple engaged in sexual intimacy, it is almost always as comedy. Why should older sex be so (uncomfortably) funny?

Women who have studied Tantra and Taoism have a conception of a sacred sexuality that is ageless. But these ancient systems only became accessible in the West during the nineties, so their profound teachings are still being integrated into and adapted into our life.

The key is that the whole understanding of sexuality and the erotic needs to be deepened and our personal wounds need to be healed. Midlife is a really good time to do this.

But most women operate exactly from the same set of memories, thoughts and feelings that ran their entire sexual lives. Everyone has an operating viewing point on sex: sex for reproduction, fun and pleasure, a sin, a need, a duty, for love or friendship. The sexuality they talk about is the same sexuality of their youth and adult years, a sexuality informed by old psychic thoughts and attitudes that they have not cleared and brought to consciousness and feelings they have not integrated.

Now, in post menopause, there is not a strong enough intellectual and psychological framework for another more sensuous and sustaining view – sex as something metaphysical, religious, spiritual, energetic.

Many boomer women talk about becoming a crone; but where should we seek the wisdom of the crone? And who said the crone is asexual?

There is a psychological resistance to the integration of what Dr Rachel Hillel calls the exile of “sacred erotic-sensual powers” from ancient feminine contents in the unconscious. She calls for the redemption of the feminine erotic soul in a book of the same name. in which she describes how our full expression and understanding of natural sexuality is fundamental to building a genuine female identity. The “erotic-sensual feminine psychic contents” are holy she says.

Perhaps the hard truth is that the sexual revolution of the 1960s failed to fulfil its promise of a real liberation because it offered an inverted version of a masculine prototype – assertive, goal oriented, manipulative. It might have been free, but it had no soul and no feminine sensibility.

What would a liberated feminine aging and aging sexuality be like?

It would seem that this is a challenge for those baby boomers who are not rushing into an asexual old age?.

Sexual Fantasies in Women Changed the Way They Make Love

In many parts of the world, America included, talking about women’s sexual fantasies can still be considered as taboo. It is always a given that the issue of sexual fantasies should be confined within men’s world. No wonder then that many women are left with uptight, if not totally inhibited concept about sex.

But are sexual fantasies really important in nurturing a healthy view about sex? Well, sexual fantasies are different among men and women. But while men are more prone or instinctive at having this kind of imagination, studies show that these fantasies can significantly affect a person’s sexual reality, man or woman. Sexual fantasies are usually generated from external triggers like erotic films, sexy photos or even the presence of a captivating stranger.

Sexual Fantasies In Women

Researchers have shown that the biggest difference in sexuality between men and women is the theme of their fantasies. Women tend to draw their sexual imaginations more from the closeness and romance from past sexual encounters; while men tend to focus on erotic, more carnal images in their minds.

However, many experts on sex have emphasized that the way women view sexual fantasies continue to evolve as the society in which they live in continue to change. For instance, more and more women are beginning to have a more active and aggressive take on sexual fantasies due in part to the advancement of various aspects in feminism.

Current findings exhibit a decline in the passive manner in which women view themselves sexually. If you are wondering about the sexual fantasy structure that many women of today are subscribing to, the following results in a study reveals the emerging configuration of sexual fantasies in modern women.

Show Men Who’s Boss

Among the top sexual fantasies that women have is domination over men. This idea may be more appropriate for discussions in a social studies class, but the concept found its way inside the bedroom too. Surveys say that there are more and more women who find sexual arousal in the idea that they hold more control or power over men while having sex.

The most favorite sexual fantasy acts include spanking or trashing out their partners while having sex and telling the men what sexual position or act to perform. But female domination in bed is not confined to sex being like a punishment for men, the mere instance that a man is asked to beg for what he wants in bed can give the modern woman that feeling of domination she wants.

Show And Tell Ain’t Enough

Despite the fact that sexual fantasies in women are still frowned upon in many conservative societies, it is not surprising that more and more women express their fantasies about having sex in front of spectators. Indeed, women of this century are more confident about themselves and the idea that people are watching them while doing the deed sends their excitement, and orgasms, up the roof.

Strangers Are More Interesting

Remember how most girls dream about being in distress and being rescued by their prince charming in the end? Well, in this age, women still enjoy dreaming about being in the arms of a stranger. Sex with a mystery partner is one of the most interesting and popular sexual fantasies in women.

This imagination is brought about by a woman’s craving to be appreciated for who she is. Longtime partners often judge women, so they think that the only time that they can feel sexually out of the cage and relaxed is when they do it with a stranger. And the best part of this kind of relationship, women say, is leaving the stranger after the deed as if nothing happened.

Truly, women’s sexuality has evolved and the constraints or old standards that some parts of society apply to it can do nothing to stop this transformation. The best example of the change in women’s sexuality is in their sexual fantasies. But still, a woman’s physicality will continue to play a role in her sexual reformation.

Take the case of female sexual dysfunctions like having low levels of sex drive. No matter how mature or advanced a woman may become sexually, her body’s inherent limitations on sex can rain on her parade. But thankfully, there are products that can correct a woman’s sexual problems. Products like Fematril can eliminate problems like low libido. For more details about this product, visit www.fematril.com.

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UStar’s Latest Title, English Encounters

Russellville, KY (PRWEB) January 18, 2010

UStar Novels, the creators of personalized books where couples star in their own romantic adventures, has made a fascinating discovery about what women really want for Valentine’s Day. UStar surveyed 1,000 of their customers and discovered that a large percentage of women (68%) requested more erotic and racier content in these novels.

It’s a trend that might surprise some men who shy away from more risqué Valentines Day gifts. The survey results led UStar to create a new, more erotic novel titled ‘English Encounters’. It has been released just in time for Valentine’s Day.

‘English Encounters’ has some of the most passionate content in UStar’s range of personalized romance novels. UStar Novels founder Katie Olver said, ‘It’s interesting that the demand for sexier writing and raunchier text comes from our female customers. Yes women still love classic romance, but they are also saying: the saucier, the better!”    

UStar Novels has 8 titles to chose from ranging in geographic settings, romance and sexual content. The latest title ‘English Encounters’ is set over a week in the heart of historic Brighton, England and although the leading lady anticipates some red hot romance, she has no idea what lies ahead of her as she and her partner realize their ultimate sexual fantasies.

Demand for UStar Novels is currently at all time high with sales increasing over 200% in past 6 months. Particularly strong sales are coming from the military with personalized books being either bought by or for members of the armed forces serving abroad.

About UStar Novels:

UStar offers a series of personalized romantic and erotic novels where you and your Valentine star in the books. People can choose their partner or join a celebrity in a wild romance (think Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Megan Fox, Jessica Alba etc.).

Customers simply answer a number of personal questions; nicknames, eye color, favorite food, music, perfume, lingerie color etc. and then select one of eight novels to star in. Each novel ranges in sexual content from sensual and romantic to erotic, appealing to a wide audience.

For more information visit: U Star Novels

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